A Bank Robber Is Busted Because She's Too Out-of-Shape to Run Away
If everyone in America continues to get chubbier and chubbier, could it mean the end of CRIME? Here's a glimpse into our candy-coated future that says YES.
23-year-old Shantoria Valentine of Omaha, Nebraska walked into a Wells Fargo bank branch on Monday afternoon and handed the teller a note saying she had a BOMB, and demanding money. So the teller gave her some cash, and Shantoria took off running.
Or at least she TRIED. According to a witness, Shantoria wasn't really in running shape, quote, "she'd shuffle a little bit, run a little bit, walk a little bit, shuffle a little bit."
Finally, a few blocks later, she just gave up and COLLAPSED on the sidewalk. The cops arrested her . . . but she was so winded from trying to run a few blocks she actually needed medical attention and was hospitalized.
Shantoria is facing felony charges for robbery, making terroristic threats, and threatening to use explosives.